Black Drama

At what cost will it take for our people “the black community” to wake the fuck up and start making changes?! Black men walk down the streets with their pants hanging off their asses, you walk like the street as gangsters and thugs, you walk down the street with a “fuck the white man/ fuck the police” mentality and think this shit is acceptable, as if this shit is representation of what being black is all about. You blame the “slave mentality” as the cause of your unethical thinking and actions. But it’s nothing mere than a bullshit excuse to be ignorant. Wake up black people and learn to value yourself, your race and your community. Stop trying to be “that nigga” with the “dopest kicks” and the baddest “bitches”. Stop thinking of women as “bitches”, stop calling yourself a “nigga”. This is not the freedom slaves fought so hard for, this is not what those who experienced segregation had in mind when they found for civil rights! You are doing nothing more but proving why ancestors were chained and slaved. You are proving why segregation was a law. Yes racism is wrong, yes black people are racially profiled and innocently killed. But why are we outraged when a white cop kills one of our own? And so no outrage when black on black crimes are committed? In this era, we don’t have great black leaders, we have the media whores and financial seekers like the Rev. Al Sharpton and and Jesse Jackson. They don’t care for the black community unless it is beneficial to them, especially Sharpton. Just because we were blessed to see a “1st Black President” doesn’t mean he is “for the people” and “for our people”. This madness in the communities must stop. The twerk video for male attention must stop, the riots in St. Louis must stop, the killing sprees in Chicago must stop, the blaming the “white man” must stop, the low class and ignorance must stop, the killing of one another must stop! If YOU choose not to stop….Understand the purging of our black race will continue…..why should the country of America give a shit about you when you don’t give a shit about yourself or your neighbors. Understand, in this great country of America, slavery was abolished not racism. Bet you didn’t know that? Because you’re too busy being stupid and destroying what little black communities are left..most importantly stop defining beauty in the black community on booty, skin tone and “good”/hair textures

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Mental

I came home from a hard day at work and balled up into a fetal position and cried.
Got damn it!
Why the fuck does life have to be so hard for me?
Why am I never recognized for the good, my hard work, and my dedication?
But let a mistake occur, and I am placed on a stake
And crucified like a bad witch
I offer my ears to those in need of venting
I offer words of encouragement to others
But in my need, I am alone
I hate the head space I am currently in
Because I want to rip my fucking skin off and I want to drain the blood from my veins with a knife and watch myself suffer amongst those who hate me most
I’m so fucking tired of being strong
It is making me feel week
I am so got damn sick of fighting
My hands can no longer make a fist
I am so fed up with trying to prove to others my worth
While other show and tell me how worthless I am
The thought of “all it takes is one bullet and to pull the trigger” sounds so heavenly right now
I have no purpose in this world
But to be a joke, a sucker, a loser and a waste of flesh
I was a success in those categories
Today I realized my adopted mother has been right about me all along
And I can’t go on as “Me” anymore
I’m too tired and I’m done
Happiness and love isn’t for everyone
I am living proof of this

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Sexy Music

Sitting here listening to slow jams and sipping wine. George Michael’s “Father Figure” begins to play, Anyone who knows me personally knows I am a die hard George Michael fan. But every time I hear this song…I think about being a little girl and finding this video to be super sexy. I remember thinking how when I grow up I want that kind of sexual attraction. I didn’t know much about sex and what “fucking” was but I was smart enough to know this song and “Justify My Love” by Modonna made me excited about becoming an adult and experiencing sex and lust like that…maybe they are to blame for my taste in S&M. Back to the point. This is a super sexy song! I should consider making a sexual playlist and see how my victim…I mean partner enjoy the sexual experience with me..lol..My top sexy songs:
Prince: Purple Rain”
George Michael “Father Figure”
Madonna “Justify My Love”
J Holiday “Bed”
Michael Jackson “Dirty Diana”
Michael Jackson ” Give into Me”
Chris Isaak “Wicked Game”
The Weekend “Wicked Games”
I would love for others to share their “sexy” songs

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Beach Thoughts

I think sometimes I get so caught up in the “emotional” piece of life that I forget that I am still alive and I only have this life to live. Today I did something out of the ordinary and spent QT with someone I forgot I loved so dearly. We drove to the small beach outside of town and took a stroll along the pier. The beautiful thing about being by the sea, no matter what is going on in your life the waves have a rhythm and motion about itself that it seems to remove the “issue” and wash it out to sea. If only for that breath taking moment. Everyone at the beach seems to have no fear and no care in the world and people seem to be happy and friendly. The seagulls sat tall and attentive on the pier as if they were lifeguards and their duty was to ensure the swimmers were safe. Couples strolled hand and hand talking and enjoying the company of one another. Children ran to the sand with their buckets and pails, excited to play in the sand and let the waves chase them back to shore as they laughed and even cried out of fear of the waves. The beach is such a magical place and even though I didn’t swim I enjoyed myself watching others enjoy themselves. It made me realize life is too precious and there is so much to see and enjoy while we have this time on earth. I also faced one of my biggest fears of going out alone. I forgot how much I love myself and how I make me happy. I took myself on a date to the beach and while on a date with myself I realized I am no longer afraid to love and be committed. In fact, I am excited about jumping into the pool of love and relationship!

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GOOD MORNING

What the fuck makes you think that when I write my thoughts, they are PERSONALLY about you? I have freedom of expression to write about anything that is on my mind
Just because I write about love or hurt, please don’t assume I am speaking about “you” directly.
You were never that important to me
The thing I am learning about others
They think too godly of themselves and assume they are your greatest inspiration.
Sorry to disappoint you asswipe
it’s time “You” stop lying to yourself and others
Sorry boo but the stories are never about you
Now let me go finish this tea so I can start my day

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Don’t

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Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining..
Don’t shit in my grass and tell me the dog did it
Don’t shoot me in the chest and tell me im having a heart attack
Don’t tell me you love me when you know got damn well you hate me
Don’t stab me in my back and tell me someone else did it
Don’t look me in my fucking eyes and tell me it’s true when we both know it’s a lie.
Don’t think you are “God” and appear when you feel like it and think I will always be waiting.
Don’t confuse my loyal and love with stupidity and desperation.
Don’t worry about what I am doing but since you are curious….
I am doing well!
I am enjoying my life
I am living life
And I have moved on with my life
So the next time you want to call and say “hello”
Just know the number you used to know is no longer in service
In order to continue on my journey of happiness
I had to let go of the past
I don’t think of you
The “memories” of “you” and “us” have been erased
The funny thing is…. I thank you for being such of piece of shit
I thank you for being a liar
I thank you for being you
Because without engaging in your terrible characteristics
I would not have come to my sense

http://youtu.be/FHp2KgyQUFk

A positive poem. One of my favorite. “On a thread of a word”

johncoyote

020_20

On the thread of a word

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

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Been a while. A new poem.

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                              On the thread of a word
(Freedom is only the distance between the hunter and his prey.)
Bei Dao
Just like a hurricane from hell.
You twisted my world from a lonely existence to a life
where I needed your caress.You took me to a dark bedroom.
Lite many soft candles and
slowly torn down walls of disappointment.

The voice of Leonard Cohen whispering  sweet words of
“Dance me to the end of love.”
Is in the distance.

You were not my first lover.
You would not be my last.
But I held you close like you were my last breath.

The rain is poured down softly.
We listen to the rain in a needed silence.

You rose from our warm bed.
Danced to the music and words of Cohen.
He sang…

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