My “Good Friday” Confession 

  

Woke up this morning, got dressed as usual.Fought my way through the rush hour subway traffic.

Arrived to work, did my routine “Good Morning” 

Got my routine mug of coffee and filled up my water bottle.

I sat at my desk and examined all of the cubicles full of workers around me.

Everyone smiling, everyone laughing, some speaking on upcoming birthday plans, while others spoke on their weekend/Easter plans.

All I could do was smile and listen to their wonderful plans.

I was secretly hoping no one would ask me because I would have to make up some bogus shit.

My thought at that moment is “where will I lay my head tonight”?

See, unfortunate circumstances has occurred in my life where I don’t have a place to call home or a roof over my head. 

But I make due with what I can.

Sleeping at the Amtrak and airport are my own current options and once in awhile, sleeping in a discounted hotel just to rejuvenate myself.


Not many people know that I am homeless. But I try to make due and I try to stay positive and hopeful that I will be able to have a home soon. If you saw walking down the street, you wouldn’t be able to tell I’m homeless. 


Some may read this post and not understand how I have a job and homeless. It’s simple, I just started this job and because I was in need of a job, I accepted this position/ assignment. This job is way below any dollar amount, I’ve ever been accustomed to making but right now it is providing something instead of nothing.


A few scumbags know about my situation and told me if I would given them sex, they would give me a couple of thousand to hold me over. 


But since I am not that “woman”. I declined the offer. I guess good people don’t exist anymore. 


I can’t even say I’m mad but don’t tell me “God will not ever give you more than you can handle” and don’t tell me “I’m strong and will get through this”.


One thing I know is that I am strong and that I’m a fighter. Hell, I’ve had to be strong and fight my entire life. But I would love A chance at an easy life. 


But for now, I have to remain positive. 

This is my confession on this “Holy” Good Friday…

My New Journey (Homeliness) 


 
The day finally came where I lost everything. 
I, no longer, have an address and it’s been months since I’ve had a phone but I’m trying to be positive. 

I miss “home” 

I miss the roof that once covered my head.

I miss the water from my shower head that cleansed my body.

I, no longer, have a bed to lay in.

A door to turn a key in

All I have is my pride and my strength to fuel me from going completely insane.

Next week I turn 35 and all I want for my birthday is a place to live. A place to call “home”. 

I never thought in a million years I would be homeless. 

Currently, I try to sleep at the Amtrak station or in the waiting areas of the airport. 

Until I can get to my job, head to the gym and shower.

I just got this job, as of now it’s not permanent but I still go in everyday and try to put my best foot forward. 

I have no choice but to remain positive and hopefully that something will come through. 

But right now this my life. 

So anybody who says “money isn’t everything” must not have experienced homeliness or know anything about “struggle”. 

I will say…. I am trying my damned to survive this and maintain my sanity But it’s not easy especially after losing my job a year ago, plaguing health issues and exhausting my account. Now I had a “job” (an assignment) I have nowhere to sleep…ive reached out to Social Services, churches, he’ll even “celebrities” hoping for a miracle. But nothing. I don’t have family and my friends claim to be here for me…but yet again… I’m battling this alone and w/o assistance 

Please pray for me or ask the universe to bless me