You were more abusive than jealous boyfriend. Your healing ways were more painful and draining than Ike’s abuse to Tina was. But I fought you head on knowing at any moment I could lose this fight but I stayed determined, I fought you during my darkest hour, I fought you during a time when I had no support nor friendships and everyone assume you were made up. You weren’t welcomed and that explains why you forced yourself upon me. To battle you I lost everything….my identity, my money, my mind and my will power. You were a disease far worse than alcoholism and drug addiction. Treatment was more sickening than a junkie’s first night in detox. But I made it through your storm. I cry sometimes at the pain you caused the struggles I endured, the occasions where I had to decide whether I would pay for treatment n be homeless or continue my comfy life n succumb to you. The sad truth, I was really torn between the two. I cried so much out of fear, I contemplated playing a game of Russian roulette w/ a full loaded gun, But with every tear of sadness I shed, I felt myself feeling stronger. I think the worse pain sustained through it all was the fact I faced you alone with no one in my corner to tell me “I will be okay” or “I am strong” but I thank you for your presence. Because without your “visit” I wouldn’t love me as much as I do, I wouldn’t appreciate life for it is and most importantly, my strength would not be as strong as it is. I don’t have as much as I am accustomed to but I have a second chance at living. The only downside to fighting you is knowing at any given moment you could make your un welcomed return. So I must stay on defense and ready to fight and battle you…….if you ever decide to return
Shits real when bottom dwelling type women feel the need to confess that other women are “hating” on them. Some how I don’t see a quality woman hating on the fact you spread your legs to anything with a cock n a smile, you end up pregnant more than rat in heat, you are sleep on other people’s couch’s and floors but yet you rock some of the biggest designers to date. Honey, women aren’t “hating” on you, women are using you as an example of “how not to be” and to teach young women of “what not to be”. You may think you have the “biggest” ass in the world and trust and believe the reality is you are the biggest ass in the world. So enjoy your life as a bottom dweller for you are nothing but the trash n shit that doesn’t float to the top and sinks, lives and breeds at the bottom of an ocean…btw, did you ever find out who fathered your child, yet? I mean really the search has been going on for over 12 years now….