Dark Moment

My addiction

In this dark time, I sit in a dark room, with candles lit while I stare at myself in a mirror…
In this private time, I watch my demons reveal themselves while reminiscing on past and current situation…
The newest demon to reveal its self to me is “addiction”
I’m addicted to this dark hole known as “depression”
I’m addicted to “pain”
I’m addicted to feeling “hurt”
And I’m addicted to watching tears fall from my eyes
During this encounter with my “addiction” this dark version of me appears….
She tells me to hate my reflection
She tells me to pound my fist into the glass until a sharp piece hits the floor
She tells me to hurt myself until the pain makes me feel numb…
During this spiritual battle, my guardian angel always shine a bright light of “hope” and let’s me know she is here to protect and guide me…. I’m not sure who she is or what she is… But I know she loves me and she watches over me…..
Because of her I am still alive….
I hope she knows I love her
And I value her for always showing herself in my darkest times
And helping me thru these episodes….
I know I sound crazy and maybe I am crazy….
But she is the “hope” that keeps me sane and alive……

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Help Me!

My heart always breaks when the words “it’s over” is spoken. But I never invest much of myself as I should when it comes to love. I am a broken soul who cries for love and acceptance but when it is bestowed upon me…I find a way out. Why is my heart so cold and my feelings so numb and what can I do to break free from this black hole? I get it universe, “I” stop “Me” from happiness and wealth. Now universe I am asking you to help me get through this so I can experience happiness, joy, and life…. And when it presents its face to me make me ready, able and receptive to receive it, appreciate it and enjoy it. I am officially ready to live