I am a bigger “mess” than I thought. I always took pride in helping and caring for others but never realized and saw for every “good” I did, I destroyed it by being negative and hurtful to others. I was always great at “reading” people for the bullshit and drama they do/did and had no chill when it came to being blunt and “honest” in my views of you.
I never understood why people labeled me a verbal bully especially if it was a situation when we were all cracking rude and mean jokes. I was the only person who never knew when to stop. I always went too far. Now that I know, I feel ashamed.
I knew I was swimming in the “negativity” pool but never noticed I actually drowned. Today, I took the time to read past posts and saw the same negativity. Maybe that’s why I fell the way I did in life so I can get see my faults and get my shit together.
I guess in a sick and twisted way, I became my (nemesis) “adopted” mother’s daughter. Now that I know I have hurt people and now that I truly know I was a verbal bully, I have begun the process to change that. Little by little, I am beginning to see things clearer. I always wanted people to “save” me but how can they save me when I’ve refused to acknowledge I was drowning instead of swimming?
My heart has been consumed with so much hate. I know I have gone through a lot in my life but it is no excuse for my actions especially when I wanted love, happiness and friendship. Even though I have lost a lot of friends along the way, I am ready to start anew and will make sure to not repeat the same cycles. Even if I have to excuse myself during “mean-spirited” sessions of talking about others.
I apologize spiritually from my soul to those I have hurt and hope the universe will forgive for my wrongdoings.
I’ve been under construction for some time. Attempting to finish the renovations of a “new” me. I’ve been under a spiritual attack and didnt realize it. So I needed to shut myself off from most of the world to undergo the changes and renovations needed to revamp who I am physically, spirituality and emotionally. During this redevelopment I lost some contractors (“friends”), fired lazy employees (people who don’t really give a shit) and knocked down walls to make the “space” (me) more open, sunny and bright. Before this renovation started I felt condemned and didn’t think it was possible to turn a rundown building (soul) into something so luxurious but I did it with the help of the spirits and spiritual guidance. Moral of this post: Never think you are to condemned to be refurbished and/or renovated. Its an expensive investment (not speaking in terms of money) but once its completed…your values makes you feel like you’re worth millions. Now time to renovate my “love”, “marriage”, “success” and “finances
BTW: THE PHOTO DOESNT GO WITH THE POST BUT I LOVE IT LOL
It is me Juanita. I write this letter to you to say I am ready for love, commitment and happiness. I know there are people out here who do not want to see me happy so they try to use spiritual attacks and root work against me. I no longer care to be in the “eye” of them. I care to be happy and enjoy life. It is my destiny to be happy, successful, and living life to the fullest and I will do so. Please bless me with my true love, protect me from others’ evils, and open the paths I was truly destined to travel. I apologize for hurting others, I apologize for the mistakes I’ve made in life and I don’t care what has transpired with people and situations in my past. I want success in love, career, health and life. For some time now the spirits have tried to warn me but i was too afraid of their presences to listen. But now I hear and see all of the things you were trying to say. Thank you for the signs and thank you for the encounters with gifted humans, dreams and spiritual encounters during the witching hours. Please universe continue to keep me aware while blessing and guiding me down the path of life success. I honor you, I praise you and I thank you.