It is me Juanita. I write this letter to you to say I am ready for love, commitment and happiness. I know there are people out here who do not want to see me happy so they try to use spiritual attacks and root work against me. I no longer care to be in the “eye” of them. I care to be happy and enjoy life. It is my destiny to be happy, successful, and living life to the fullest and I will do so. Please bless me with my true love, protect me from others’ evils, and open the paths I was truly destined to travel. I apologize for hurting others, I apologize for the mistakes I’ve made in life and I don’t care what has transpired with people and situations in my past. I want success in love, career, health and life. For some time now the spirits have tried to warn me but i was too afraid of their presences to listen. But now I hear and see all of the things you were trying to say. Thank you for the signs and thank you for the encounters with gifted humans, dreams and spiritual encounters during the witching hours. Please universe continue to keep me aware while blessing and guiding me down the path of life success. I honor you, I praise you and I thank you.
The universe has always tried to removed the negative people from my life but due to my co-dependency, my insecurities and my fear of being alone, I fought against it and felt I could change people. People have walked in and out of my life because they knew they could. They knew they could leave and come back whenever they wanted and be accepted every time with opened arms. I’ve always been vocal about my fears, my feelings and my emotions to anyone who is willing to listen and people always used it against me because They knew how much I wanted so badly to be loved and accepted. The past few weeks have been great for me! I no longer carry other people’s burden, I no longer stress myself out over shit I can’t control and I no longer hold resentment or hurt in my heart and mind for anyone. I didn’t realize these people only entered my life to use me, to abuse me and to take me for granted. Even though I still want love and acceptance, I will no longer accept “ANYTHING” or the very minimal from anyone just to have a temporary fulfillment. I will no longer lay my head in depression and cry myself to sleep over people who don’t cry for me and over things I can’t control. My life still isn’t perfect and I am still dealing with temporary roadblocks. But I am comfortable in my skin, I believe in myself, I am confident as to who I am and what I’ve come from and I know my worth and my intelligence. I pray to the universe to block those who only want to use me and hurt me and I ask the universe to to continue to teach me that everyone isn’t an enemy and it’s OK to love, smile and be happy. This is my 1st of the month confession and progress report. I’m growing and I’m glowing!
I’ve been going through a storm that seem like it wouldn’t past. I fought with demons of depression, the demons who wanted me to give up and the demons who wanted to repo all of the things I worked so hard for. When you are in need, no one gives a fuck about you, no one cares that you are struggling, no one cares enough to offer you help. All they care about in reality is being thankful it’s not them. My stress and depression led me to experience anxiety and even suffering a mild stroke. Doctors kept telling me “you have to relax” how can anyone relax when they don’t know where their next meal is coming from or how they are going to maintain a roof over their head. Through this storm, I was able to restore some faith and belief in God, I was blessed to know the universe and my guardian angel were working overtime to get me back on my feet. But for the first time in life, I finally was able to pass the lessons I kept failing previously. Thank you for the storm, universe. Thank you for making me stop being a victim to my situations, thank you for letting me see who my real friends are, thank you for believing in me and most importantly, thank you for teaching me to love myself and to stop relying on others to see and value my worth. Now that I believe in me and I love me….I can focus on me and the things I need to do to achieve success, love and happiness and to maintain all of the greatness.
Trying to maintain my faith and trust that the universe will continue to protect me and bless me. Right now, I have very little faith. I’ve been out of work for sometime now, I’ve been trying to maintain my bills, my sanity and my health. But I am slowly failing at all three. My blood pressure is now at stroke level due to stress, my bills are due and the money I was suppose to receive has yet to be processed. In order for my unemployment to start I have to wait another 2-3 more weeks for a phone interview/conference. In the meantime, I hustle my ass off everyday by pushing out my resume and patiently wait and hope my phone rings with an opportunity. So far nothing… The thought of suicide weighs heavy on my mind. I don’t have family I can lean on and I don’t have a support system of friends. All I have is my faith (which is at 25%). I cry myself to sleep at night, I wake up crying, praying, hoping and wish today is going to be a better day. But I no longer have faith and I don’t see a job or money coming… I’m officially scared of losing the place I call home, I’m afraid of losing what little sanity I have left and I’m afraid that suicide truly seems like my only option. I survived too much to become homeless….I really need a miracle or a blessing….soon
In order to love someone else, you must learn to love yourself. Maybe this is why I have never had a successful relationship. I love the idea of “love”, “togetherness” and “forever” but the “insecure” demons always find their way to interfere. I am offering myself a 30 Day “I love Myself” challenge beginning on my birthday April 1st… In the meantime I will create a vision board, put health and fitness as a priority and work on a better me. I’ve come along way…. But feel I should be happier and more successful than I currently am….. I am on a mission to achieve my goals and stop allowing “fear” and “insecurity” to hold me back…. I hope on this day next year…. I am happy, financially secure and in awesome health!