I realize my worse enemy is myself. I want to be loved and I want to be liked. But I realized this is easy for some and extremely hard for me. I love too hard and I care too much. Throughout hardship in my life, I was left alone to hear “I’m sorry, I wish I could help” or “damn, you are so strong” wtf makes you think they are words of encouragement? Because of the “lack off” I allowed myself to be swallowed by the black hole of depression. It was my safe haven until the suicide urges intensified. I have gone through so much in my life and have asked for so little in return. How much as I want to be loved, accepted, respected and wanted, I can’t sell myself cheap enough… I wish the black cloud of “depression” would stay away for forever but the problem is I think I love “it” more than I love myself. Right now in my life, I am not sad. I am opening myself to universe and have began to start dating. I’m ready for love but the question remains is love ready for me?