My Blogging Thoughts on “LOVE” 

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Never get upset over someone leaving you especially during your time of need. Love is an emotional roller coaster. Love goes through highs and lows…and sometimes you sustain some blows if you’re not acting right. but when a person truly loves you, They challenge your negative ways because they know you can do and be better… Love is unconditional, love can not be turned off like a light switch….love doesn’t cheat nor sample someone’s else grass and love never turns its back even when they are mad…. Most important lesson in love…never love someone more than they can love you. Sometimes a breakup is not one sided. #bloggersthoughts 

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LOVE? 

 

I never understood the expression of “love conquers all” maybe because I’ve never experienced that type of love or maybe when love presented its self I found a way to destroy it. Which in my opinion proves “love doesn’t conquer all” or my idea of what love is translate to me as a fairytale that doesn’t exist. My mind sAys “I want love” and “I am open to love” but the love I seek never comes from the ones I want it from. It is displayed from the men I have no interest in….

Either way, I’m not sure if I truly believe in love and highly doubt I will ever experience love and marriage….


But I’m open to the idea…


If you read this post, then you can see how confused the thought behind “love” is because the writer of this post (me) is totally confused…

The question remains; What is “love”???

Mental vs Emotional 

  The world finds a way to judge and deem one crazy or insane. In some cases, there are crazy people in the world and in other cases, there are people who are misunderstood. To be emotional is to be considered weak. To release tears in front of any one other than thy self is to be placed on a stage for ridicule and shame. The missing trait in a lot of people is “empathy”. No two people are the same and everyone has a different story of struggle and overcoming obstacles. Just because a person releases thoughts and emotions differently from you doesn’t make them crazy. Some people, I agree some are harder to understand than others but it doesn’t make them weak or a waste. Tough love is not for everyone. To tell an emotional person about their down falls is not to be the shit out of them and once they are down you poke them with a stick and ask if they are ok and tell them how much of “pussy” they are. You have to learn to understand a person in order to help or to be supportive. The thing I find so fascinating.. A person shows more empathy, love and support to a physical abuser, someone who uses weapons to attack, someone who threatens real harm than they do to someone who is emotional is crying to be loved. Why?!

Monday Night Thought 

  Love me for who I am and not because you think there is a pot of gold at the end of my rainbowLove me unconditional when I am right or wrong 

Take a stand as a man when someone disrespects me or threatens my livelihood.

Support me in good times and be my rock and my strength during bad time.

Stop looking at me as a temporary solution until you find what you are seeking.

Value me as a flawless diamond instead of cubic zirconia or fool’s gold. 

Instead of dwelling on my weakness guide me to be strong and to be better

My body and my mind is a temple that should be respected in the same fashion you respect your “God”

Understand I am a technical thinker so if I don’t understand something your way doesn’t mean I feel superior or trying to be a lawyer

It truly means I don’t understand

It takes a special man to understand me and accept me…

Today he has not come…

I’m not sure if “he” my perfect mate exists…

But I’m open to the universe to send him to me

Late Night Cry

what does a “basic” woman have to do to feel loved, to feel accepted, to feel valued and to feel wanted?

Trying to maintain being “strong” is making me weak emotionally.

I get ridiculed for “accusations” and for “lies” but my truth and the things that I do (positively) goes unnoticed and unimported.

If I was the type to act on impulse..I would lose

If I was the type to remain unresponsive and take shit as is…I would still lose..

Wtf do I have to do to win? To be recognized as being “genuine” “honest” “loving” “beautiful” and intelligent?

I watch too many walk in and out of my life

No matter how hard I try to “fight” and accept the hand dealt to me..

I still lose…

 I’m tired of fucking losing…


Wtf does it take to win?! 

Being a good woman is not good enough..

Being highly sexual is exciting in the moment but pointless when sex is not involved…

I’ve been cheated on..,

Ignored..

Disrespected..

Disregarded…

And unwanted for far too long…

I gave up on love, marriage and commitment…

What more do I need to give up on?

life?! 

I’m tired of giving my heart to have it returned balled up, stabbed, and chewed up in return…

Spirit Guides guide me to happiness and love because I’m sick of misery, hurt and pain  

I’m tired of feeling alone and feeling pain and betrayal….

For once in my life, I am mute from sarcasm and from smiles 

 

Help Me!

My heart always breaks when the words “it’s over” is spoken. But I never invest much of myself as I should when it comes to love. I am a broken soul who cries for love and acceptance but when it is bestowed upon me…I find a way out. Why is my heart so cold and my feelings so numb and what can I do to break free from this black hole? I get it universe, “I” stop “Me” from happiness and wealth. Now universe I am asking you to help me get through this so I can experience happiness, joy, and life…. And when it presents its face to me make me ready, able and receptive to receive it, appreciate it and enjoy it. I am officially ready to live

Relish Rudd

Pray for our children

As a woman who was kidnapped as a child I am glad My abductor kidnapped me because she was unable to bare her own children and wanted a chance at motherhood..even though my abductor abused me and attempted to harm me I am truly grateful to be alive today. The picture that you see is of a beautiful little girl who was kidnapped some time ago. If you live in the DC Metro area then this angel’s face is familiar to you. About two weeks ago a woman was killed in a motel. The woman killed was the ex-wife of the man who abducted this little girl. An amber alert was issued for the vehicle the murderer and the child was last seen in…the car has since been recovered but the child remains missing…a 51 year man, by the name Tatum, was a janitor at a homeless shelter where Relisha (little girl shown) and her mom lived. The little girl was missing a few days before the mother thought to report her missing, the child seen comfortable in the presence of this man, who I am beginning to believe was her dad. In the surveillance video they showed of Relisha and this man, she had no fear. Kind of in the fashion a little girl walking with her daddy would have. New evidence has surfaced that Tatum called the little girl’s school pretending to be a doctor and stating she has not been in school due to her being sick. I find it hard to believe that an elementary school would honor a doctor’s call without requesting proper documentation…the mother sits in front of the media with fake concern and care but is bold enough to think she is innocent in the matter and it’s not her fault that her daughter was kidnapped. This trifling bitch belongs in jail. She sits on IG talking about living her life, liking and commenting on her friends photos. But her child is missing. During the news coverage of this story, I started to notice how much the little girl favors the man who kidnapped her. Could he be her father? And if he is, why would he kidnap his own child? Personally if this monster was capable to kill his ex-wife in a motel I believe he killed this precious little girl. He was caught on camera buying trash bags and lime…..I hope he is caught soon and the mother needs to be arrested and charged with neglect and being an accessory to kidnapping and if they find the child dead…the mother should also face murder charges. This world has gone mad when innocent children are killed for no reason. To Relisha Rudd’s mother may satan make you his personal bitch n torture you and your soul for all eternity!