Spiritually Shook

Yesterday my spirit was shook after receiving an e-mail from my ex. We split over six months ago and for the life of me I couldn’t comprehend why I was receiving this e-mail about some things I may have or may not have said about him. In his e-mail he told me he is trying to move on with his life and I should be doing the same. But yet I received an e-mail. I made it clear to him I’ve cut off communication from most of the world to avoid he say/she say gossip. But yet it found me. His final reply was “this wasn’t said recently and I would appreciate if you keep my name out of your mouth” for the life of me I don’t understand why this e-mail was received then I found myself over analyzing things to see if I could find clarity. That e-mail and the moments spent replying drained me spiritually. I made a lot of mistakes in life, I’ve done and said things that weren’t the most positive and hurt others in the process. I can’t take those things back but I have prayed on them and I’ve asked for forgiveness from the universe. I will admit I played vitcim in some situations but I’ve grown from them, I’ve learned valuable lessons and have been living a positive life for some time now. The past year has been the hardest year of my life but spiritually, it has been the most rewarding. I lost everything and even though it was a painful time, I learned to appreciate life and I learned I didnt need to manipulate situations just to see if others care for me. I missed out on love growing up and spent most of my 20s and some of my 30s trying to hustle, survive and find someone to love me even though I didn’t love myself. I didn’t know how to love me so it made me fail in all relationships. After losing everything I learned to love myself, I let go of my past and left everything in God’s hands. I still have moments of doubt, I still have negative moments but I’m in a better place spiritually….. I will the negativity of my past would go away. I’m only embracing on positivity.

 

Rebirth 

  

Nothing wrong with admitting when you are wrong. But what’s the point of “I’m sorry” when you turn around and make the same mistakes? Sometimes you feel bad for what you’ve said and done, but real growth comes from working on the negative. For so long, I’ve been so negative due to past experiences that I was unaware I carried a storm cloud over my head and hurt others because I was hurting. When I turned 35, I let it all go. Now that I’m storm cloud free. I am ready to experience real love, a positive love that I never allowed myself to feel. I, no longer, care what has happened in the past. I am now living in the moment and looking forward to the future. I am able to smile brighter now and know my smile comes from joy, I am able to laugh until my stomach hurts. I finally experienced the rebirth I’ve craved for years now. I am a new and better version of who I once was and I’m in love with myself and life. I am completely at peace with my past and hold no bitter, hatred or the need to rehash anything that has happened. #spiritualgrowth #mentalgrowth #love #happiness