It broke my heart when people who claimed to care aboutme gave no fucks that I was living on the streets as a homeless woman
There were days I didn’t know whether to feel angry or sad because my greatest fear became my reality and I was forced to deal with it on my own
People can never understand why I am emotionally unavailable and why it is so difficult for me to love
Because I don’t feel people give a shit about me unless it is beneficial to them
Those that knew about me being homeless didn’t offer a meal, a bed or anything to me.
They lived their lives as if everything was good while
I celebrated my 35th bday on the streets.
I have been wearing the same articles of clothing in rotation since March 21st along with one pair of uncomfortable shoes
I snuck into my new job early in the mornings just so I could shower and freshen myself as if i just arrived in the office from home
I went days without sleep because the airport and bus station seats aren’t comfortable and every 10 mins a loud announcement was being made
I survived being robbed in a shelter and felt safer roaming streets late at night then to spend another night in the shelter.
My arms and shoulders are numb from carrying my two survival bags.
But I survived with a smile on my face and a positive outlook on life
As much as I’ve always needed friends and love
I realized my only friend and lover is myself…..