Woke up this morning, got dressed as usual.Fought my way through the rush hour subway traffic.
Arrived to work, did my routine “Good Morning”
Got my routine mug of coffee and filled up my water bottle.
I sat at my desk and examined all of the cubicles full of workers around me.
Everyone smiling, everyone laughing, some speaking on upcoming birthday plans, while others spoke on their weekend/Easter plans.
All I could do was smile and listen to their wonderful plans.
I was secretly hoping no one would ask me because I would have to make up some bogus shit.
My thought at that moment is “where will I lay my head tonight”?
See, unfortunate circumstances has occurred in my life where I don’t have a place to call home or a roof over my head.
But I make due with what I can.
Sleeping at the Amtrak and airport are my own current options and once in awhile, sleeping in a discounted hotel just to rejuvenate myself.
Not many people know that I am homeless. But I try to make due and I try to stay positive and hopeful that I will be able to have a home soon. If you saw walking down the street, you wouldn’t be able to tell I’m homeless.
Some may read this post and not understand how I have a job and homeless. It’s simple, I just started this job and because I was in need of a job, I accepted this position/ assignment. This job is way below any dollar amount, I’ve ever been accustomed to making but right now it is providing something instead of nothing.
A few scumbags know about my situation and told me if I would given them sex, they would give me a couple of thousand to hold me over.
But since I am not that “woman”. I declined the offer. I guess good people don’t exist anymore.
I can’t even say I’m mad but don’t tell me “God will not ever give you more than you can handle” and don’t tell me “I’m strong and will get through this”.
One thing I know is that I am strong and that I’m a fighter. Hell, I’ve had to be strong and fight my entire life. But I would love A chance at an easy life.
But for now, I have to remain positive.
This is my confession on this “Holy” Good Friday…