My “Good Friday” Confession 

  

Woke up this morning, got dressed as usual.Fought my way through the rush hour subway traffic.

Arrived to work, did my routine “Good Morning” 

Got my routine mug of coffee and filled up my water bottle.

I sat at my desk and examined all of the cubicles full of workers around me.

Everyone smiling, everyone laughing, some speaking on upcoming birthday plans, while others spoke on their weekend/Easter plans.

All I could do was smile and listen to their wonderful plans.

I was secretly hoping no one would ask me because I would have to make up some bogus shit.

My thought at that moment is “where will I lay my head tonight”?

See, unfortunate circumstances has occurred in my life where I don’t have a place to call home or a roof over my head. 

But I make due with what I can.

Sleeping at the Amtrak and airport are my own current options and once in awhile, sleeping in a discounted hotel just to rejuvenate myself.


Not many people know that I am homeless. But I try to make due and I try to stay positive and hopeful that I will be able to have a home soon. If you saw walking down the street, you wouldn’t be able to tell I’m homeless. 


Some may read this post and not understand how I have a job and homeless. It’s simple, I just started this job and because I was in need of a job, I accepted this position/ assignment. This job is way below any dollar amount, I’ve ever been accustomed to making but right now it is providing something instead of nothing.


A few scumbags know about my situation and told me if I would given them sex, they would give me a couple of thousand to hold me over. 


But since I am not that “woman”. I declined the offer. I guess good people don’t exist anymore. 


I can’t even say I’m mad but don’t tell me “God will not ever give you more than you can handle” and don’t tell me “I’m strong and will get through this”.


One thing I know is that I am strong and that I’m a fighter. Hell, I’ve had to be strong and fight my entire life. But I would love A chance at an easy life. 


But for now, I have to remain positive. 

This is my confession on this “Holy” Good Friday…

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Writ 

The intensity of the pain in my chest is increasing. My eyes are full of tears patiently waiting to release. The smile on my face is faker than a Chinatown LV bag. My mind is filled with so many thoughts. But yet my mouth remains mum. Times like now I wish I had a family who would help me out. Then though my family is my blood, I am still a stranger to them. Most have never even met me. I don’t have a boyfriend that I can depend on. It’s only me. It’s always been “Just Me”. Those I confide in can only say “hope things work out for you” or the infamous “damn”. I didn’t put myself in this situation because I mismanaged money or was too busy buying the “latest” instead on focusing on my priorities. I’m in this situation due a off n on years of cancer. I don’t mean to sound like a victim and I don’t express my thoughts on here for sympathy, but it’s my harsh reality. Battling cancer and surviving is for the rich or those who are blessed to have a circle of true friends, family and love. I suffered a mild stroke this summer due to the stress of being sick, undergoing so many medical tests, hypertension, and once again watching all of my money deplete trying to win my health battle and financial struggles. My newest reality to be set in stone on Monday, November 9, 2015 at 10am, which is the day the sheriff’s, who scheduled my eviction will be at my door to take what little I have and throw it on the street. But I have to be strong.. What a fucking joke! 

No Hope

  
Sometime when I’m  facing hard times, i try to smile, have faith and try not to slip back into depression. This year has been rough for me from dealing with health issues, suffering a mile stroke, losing my job to now being served eviction papers and being told have 3 days to vacate the premises. I’ve always feared being homeless and it looks like it’s becoming a reality. The problem with renting in VA, they don’t give you no type of arrangement or anything. I’m being evicted for $400 for October and per the letter given by the rent office November is included. I just went back to work a week ago and dunno how I’m going to get out of this rut. But I will not lose my smile, and I refuse to give my depression any opportunity to rear its ugly head. But I have no options, no support system and no assistance. The downside to being me. It is meant to be will be. What is meant to be will be. I just have to accept the fuck hand life has dealt me. 

Fashion??

Freedom of expression with clothing, shoes and accessories. The talk of fashion week was KingKanye. The world considered his fashion show as “Genius” “Edgy” and “Futuristic”. 

I actually….  

As I looked at the photos from his show.. I realized I’ve seen this look before…

As I kept scrolling through the photos it dawned on me… “I’ve seen this style before” 

  

Picture this: Fox Channel, mid 90s… 

  A show called “In Living Color” introduced us to a character named Anton…

Anton was a homeless drunk bum played by Damon Wayan… 

 

Fashion looks familiar, Kanye?!  

But since he is “Yeezus” I’m sure he gives no fucks!! 

I’m sure the “homeless” look by KingKanye and Adidas probably cost over $10,000 

All I’m trying to say is give credit where credits do Kanye and consider naming the line “The Anton Collection” by Kanye and Adidas 

Cheers, to your continuing success!