I woke up this morning with a fresh mind and heart.
I’ve been through a lot in life and always had to fight for “normality”
But what I realized last night,
My fight for normality is nothing but a mere delusion.
Maybe this what keeps me sane.
Maybe this is what keeps me living
Maybe this what keeps my head above water
People always pretend that they are so perfect and so self righteous.
I don’t. I know I am a mess.
I know I have struggles.
I know I have wants
I know I have needs
Even through all of my fuck ups, my battle with demons, I find a way to show others love, respect, support and friendship.
Sometimes I wonder if being alone is a best option for me?
This way I don’t have to worry about caring for no one but myself.
This way no one can ever say they have dirt on me
This way no one can use me
This way I will save all tears and I don’t have to put on a poker face when people stand before me to blatantly disrespect me or try to diss me
FINALLY I have emotionally checked out
I finally accept the things people say about me
I am finally free to be me and just live without hearing “you’re full of shit”
Maybe I am….
But what about you makes you better than me?
People live in a fantasy to think they are so fucking perfect and so fucking godly.
You are the same scum you accuse me of being….
Your “Scum of the Earth” is just different from mine.
I finally feel my devil horn surfacing and I’m content with being an angel of evil.
After all, this is what everyone labels me.
So I accept the crown with honor.