November 1 ConfessionĀ 

  

The universe has always tried to removed the negative people from my life but due to my co-dependency, my insecurities and my fear of being alone, I fought against it and felt I could change people. People have walked in and out of my life because they knew they could. They knew they could leave and come back whenever they wanted and be accepted every time with opened arms. I’ve always been vocal about my fears, my feelings and my emotions to anyone who is willing to listen and people always used it against me because They knew how much I wanted so badly to be loved and accepted. The past few weeks have been great for me! I no longer carry other people’s burden, I no longer stress myself out over shit I can’t control and I no longer hold resentment or hurt in my heart and mind for anyone. I didn’t realize these people only entered my life to use me, to abuse me and to take me for granted. Even though I still want love and acceptance, I will no longer accept “ANYTHING” or the very minimal from anyone just to have a temporary fulfillment. I will no longer lay my head in depression and cry myself to sleep over people who don’t cry for me and over things I can’t control. My life still isn’t perfect and I am still dealing with temporary roadblocks. But I am comfortable in my skin, I believe in myself, I am confident as to who I am and what I’ve come from and I know my worth and my intelligence. I pray to the universe to block those who only want to use me and hurt me and I ask the universe to to continue to teach me that everyone isn’t an enemy and it’s OK to love, smile and be happy. This is my 1st of the month confession and progress report. I’m growing and I’m glowing! 

Advertisements

Seeing The Light

Sometimes our dreams have a way of providing a premonition on what’s to come… Especially when you dream of real life situations that involve real life people you know. Sometimes I “try” to believe in others in hopes of finding the “good ones” but it never ceases to amaze me that I always attract the worthless…. I think it’s something I am doing wrong in life that opens the door to worthless people whether they are love interests, friends and/or family…. I think In 2015, I will embark in a full spiritual and mental make over and cleanse to ensure, I am attracting positive things and meaningful people…
#mylifenstrugglesinwords

IMG_5346.JPG

My Confession…..

Lent season is upon us and part of being a good catholic is confessing….so here is my confession……

All my life I struggle with wanting to be accepted, loved and respected to the point I’ve allowed so many people to disrespect me. I take pride of who I am and accepting the cards I’ve been dealt and honestly I give so much gratitude to the universe for allowing me to make it through so many situations while still maintaining my sanity and my strength even at times of defeat. I am not angel but I’m no demon..I accept the fact that I am not perfect nor do I ever try to achieve perfection…I struggled beyond my means for so many things…I found through abuse, depression, cancer and self hatred and begging society and the world to see me as a beautiful, black, strong willed woman. Through all of my accomplishments I stand alone with no one to congratulate me, no one to catch me when I’ve fallen, no one to utter the three magical words “I love you” that suppose to mean so much. Still I stand with my head above water on the outside but slowly drowning within. But I don’t give up on understanding the meaning of “life, love and understanding” I just hope the universe will stop punishing me and grant me the “fruits” of happiness I have been seeking so desperately for most of my life….this is my confession….what is yours?