The world is great at telling me my downfalls and where I fall short
But when I achieve goals and accomplishments the world sits still and quiet. My biggest problem in life is I want to feel loved and I want to be accepted. I use my sarcasm for popularity. But sometimes coming up with new material isn’t easy. I roamed this earth seeking for love and each time I fail at it… The past (ex boyfriends) come into my present thinking they have a chance at my future. The thing I’ve never understood is how come you couldn’t love me during the time we were together? The insecurities of my dark skin seems to haunt me more and more. I wonder if my skin is lighter would I be loved more and better?! Would I be wanted and highly favored? Some women can look at themselves in the mirror and see their beauty. I look at myself in the mirror and point out every flaw about me. No matter how much I want to change the “negative”… I can’t.. I hate it when people tell me later on in life how much they care for me but when they were apart of my life they treated me like shit. I don’t believe people truly love and care about me…. I frown and cry more than I smile. It seems as if sadness is who I am. Maybe I should stop fighting it and accept it. Because I have yet to see, believe, and experience what “love” is…….
Crazy thing is….
I wrote this thought in blood… Because my heart and soul bleeds for happiness, love, success, marriage and good health…… I feel if I bleed a lil more each time..the universe will one day hear my cries….