The more I try to succeed the less successful I become. The more I try to make others happy the more sadness comes my way. The more I try to love the more I experience hate. What is in life that I am doing so wrong that I am not entitled to happiness? Sometimes I sit and watch how people portray themselves to be happy, “blessed” and loved and wonder what could I have done so wrong in life to not experience the same? Even though I feel proud to make others happy. I wished others strived to make me happy. I’m tired of standing alone, I am tired of being my own personal supporter, friend, family, etc., I think I finally understand why people commit suicide. It gets to a point when self love is not enough love. Loneliness feel like a category 5 hurricane…destructive! I want to enjoy my life while I’m still alive but how can I…when I’m not happy?